Getting together with family is another example. Nowadays, once the kids
are grown, families can be scattered geographically... for example, we
live in California but my mom and brother are back in Virginia; and up
until relatively recently, my wife's parents lived in Florida (when
dealing with me, 3000 miles away seems to be the sweet spot). Maybe it's
just me, but it appears the holidays generate a lot of pressure to get the
family together. That's not a bad thing, but do we really need the
holidays to prompt that? It sure causes a lot of stress on the airline
industry, as the country's population shuffles itself like a deck of
cards in the space of a few days.
I'm kind of nostalgic for the days when the family circle (parents,
grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and other tag-alongs) tended to
stay in the same general, accessible geographic area... and,
consequently, were a part of one's life all year round. You didn't wait
for the annual Christmas newsletter to find out what was going on; you
dropped by and looked in occasionally, went to the kids' birthday
parties; gave each other rides when the car was in the shop. Some say
I'm looking back on a past that never existed... but it did for me, when
I was growing up with my family. Admittedly, not everything was
rose-colored... my dad used to sit on the front porch without a shirt on
and make fun of my friends; and he'd eat whole pies out of the tin
before I could get a piece... but overall, it wasn't bad.
Current movies, when they deal with the holidays, confuse me. They seem
to promote the idea that seeing family during the holidays is important.
But the families in these kinds of movies are populated by zany,
eccentric crackpots that, ultimately, end up being loveable... as long
as you only have to see them once a year. Usually in these movies,
the lesson the main (normal) characters learn is to hug their family
instead of throttling them; the protagonists become better people
because they learn to tolerate the family. Not bad, I guess, but I
wouldn't want to see it stitched on a sampler. I guess I'd like to see
more home-for-the-holidays movies where the main family value is that
the family is valued.
In general, our culture seems to present the holidays as
the time to don an attitude of family unity and general goodwill;
sometimes I wonder if that implies we can pack it away in January and
have a free pass the rest of the year.
With the above observations, I don't want to give the impression that I have a cynical view of the holidays. I do... but I'd rather not give that impression, which only adds more weight to my reputation as a unsentimental curmudgeon. And I've got to say [Warning! Potentially Offensive Observation Ahead!] that, as someone who's been blessed with salvation through Jesus Christ, I've got absolutely nothing to be unthankful for... it's just that the sinful nature for which I've been forgiven also makes me a poor example of the practice-what-you-preach discipline.* Really, it's not that I don't like the holidays... I just like them all year round. It's sort of like that old joke where a youngster asks his parents, "There's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day... when is Children's Day?" and the parents reply in unison, "Every day is Children's Day." It would be great if we could take it for granted that every day is a day for thanksgiving.
And I know there's plenty of folks out there with their hearts in the right place... and if they'll tell me where that place is, I'll do my best to put mine there too.
So have a great Thanksgiving... one that keeps on going, and going, and going....
*if you'd like to learn more about the incredible grace of God that should make us thankful for all things, please click here, or use the "Testimony" link at the top or bottom of the page. It will take you to a page that contains a link to people who explain it much better than me.
All material copyright 2009 Chuck Thornton