If possible, whenever my wedding anniversary rolls around, I like to arrange for Sue and I to get away for a few days. With all the distractions of housework, yard work, cooking, and laundry, not to mention helping me with my job, it's tough for Sue to find the time to reflect on how lucky she is to be married to me.
This year marks our 34th as man (that's me) and wife. Our marriage is at that awkward age; We've already had our silver anniversary, but have a way to go for our golden anniversary. I wanted to see what the 34th anniversary is called, but most sources indicate that once you get past the 30th anniversary, they quit naming each individual year and only bother with every 5th year. (I'm guessing that men came up with this system.) It took additional research to determine that most experts have designated the 34th anniversary as plutonium.
Three Mile Island wasn't a practical destination, so I didn't try to
"theme" the trip. Instead, I arranged for three nights in Morro Bay,
California. Why Morro Bay?
1. The last time Sue and I had been there was sometime in the first
decade of our marriage. The section of my brain that houses that
decade's files is in poor repair, so for all intents and purposes, we
had never been there.
2. As readers of previous journals know, we've made past trips to
Monument Valley, the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, and Devil's Tower, so
Morro Bay fell right in line with our definition of picturesque: big
rocks.
3. Mapquest clocked it as a manageable 3 hour drive from Santa Clarita.
Using the Thornton Road Trip Conversion Table, which factors in roadside
distractions and the ratio of average hourly beverage consumption to
available restrooms, we calculated we could get there by dusk if we left
before breakfast.
4. It looked like the kind of place where we could spend some time
relaxing without feeling like we were missing something.
DAY ONE:
We left our home on the east side of the Santa Clarita Valley around 9 am, and in no time at all we were at a McDonald's on the west side of the Santa Clarita Valley. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, Sue likes to start the day with a cup of McDonald's decaf coffee... she's convinced it's made from the finest premium coffee beans grown and only available to the seventy billion McDonald's outlets that populate our globe. Sue's dedication to the Mickey Dee's brew is unassailable, though other brands have tried to woo her away. Who can forget the ill-conceived and quickly scrubbed promotion featuring Starskey McStarbuck, the caffeinated clown?
I stuck with my usual large Diet Coke, which gave me the opportunity to check out the restrooms at the Ventura Carls Jr about 40 miles down the road. While there, I picked up a batch of their fried burritos, which are sort of the jawbreakers of Mexican cuisine. I wisely purchased a large Diet Coke to wash them down, and that prompted an unscheduled tour of the restroom at the Wal-Mart in San Luis Obispo. While there, we took advantage of the great price on a case of Diet Dr. Pepper in the 12 oz. cans, so we could stock the hotel room refrigerator.
Honest, I didn't break into the stock of Diet Dr. Pepper for the remainder of the drive. Nevertheless, when we arrived in Morro Bay, it seemed prudent to locate another restroom, and since it was still a little too early to check into our room, we found the local McDonald's. There we made two wonderful discoveries.
Sue is fond of the McDonald's Snack Wraps, which were basically formulated by McDonald's crack R&D team to masquerade as a healthy alternative to the burgers, fries, and nuggets that everyone in their right minds goes to McDonald's to eat. Perhaps they thought that health-conscious adults wouldn't feel as guilty bringing their kids to a McDonald's if there was the possibility of ordering them something a little less artery-clogging than a Happy Meal. If so, it was a miscalculation; I've never seen a kid eating a Snack Wrap at McDonald's. They're not fooled by those apples sliced like french fries, either.
Instead, Snack Wraps appeal to folks like Sue who wisely watch their fat intake and like smaller portions, since they're basically a small tortilla wrapped around some grilled chicken strips accompanied by lettuce and some sauce. Until now.
On the Morro Bay McDonald's menu was a new offering: the Mac Snack Wrap. That's right: the geniuses at McDonald' s managed to overcome their better instincts and come up with a snack wrap that substitutes the halfway healthy stuffing of the chicken Snack Wrap with hamburger, cheese, and secret sauce. It's basically a Big Mac, hold the "Big". It instantly became Sue's favorite McDonald's menu item, if you don't count their coffee.
But wait! There's more! Sue might be a pushover, but the powers-that-fry at McDonald's knew they weren't going to win me over with the Little Big Mac. So they played their ace-in-the-hole. First, they were selling all drink sizes at $1.00, so I was spared using a small-size cup and making numerous refill trips to the beverage bar in order to take advantage of the price break. And, more importantly, the beverage bar offered Diet Dr. Pepper on tap.
As you've gathered, I believe Diet Dr. Pepper is the ambrosia of diet soft drinks, and I drink enough out of cans and plastic bottles annually to guarantee that the Doctor will be in business for years to come. But as much as I love the off-the-shelf version, Diet Dr. Pepper dispensed from a fountain brings me close to swooning. Surprisingly, it's offered at none of your finer restaurants, and very rarely at the major fast-food chains. Seeing it at a McDonald's and entertaining the possibility that it might soon be available at a chain where every outlet is within eyesight of another one... well, let's just say that I pressed the straw I used that day into my scrap book.
That cinched it. It couldn't get any better than this. Just the fact that we had two more days access to Mac Snack Wraps and free-flowing Diet Dr. Pepper before returning to a dry county made the trip a success.
All material copyright 2009 Chuck Thornton